I’m so sad for you and the kids. Unfortunately he does sound like he’s sick and should seek therapy first.
Don’t take it to heart because this is not you, it is all him.
Living with a person who isn’t well is not your fault. Try to stay calm and sane for your children and your own health.

Thank you Casey I am trying to stay strong for me and my kids it has been super hard though like I said he's still living with me waiting for the house to come available in our area and I have done everything for him for all of these years so it is hard to not want to do those things anymore I really feel like I am messed up in the head because I only want to be with him cuz this is so out of character for him