I am actually married to a closeted gay man right now as well. He mislead and love bombed me into moving fast. I realized it was time to divorce a couple nights ago when I moved to give him a kiss and he actually cringed from me.
I was a single mom of one child before we got together. Now I have 2 more. One just turned one and the other will be born in May. We have children only because the first one was conceived in a lie and the second one was definitely not on purpose.
I realized I had to divorce him awhile ago because of how open and comfortable he is with other men and how he expresses a pure hatred of women with them. Yet, he and his friends are porn addicts. To the point where he actively rejected me and expressed disgust at me just to go pleasure himself to porn.
It’s very hard to be married to a closeted gay man. It also makes it very hard to leave when you have kids in the equation.
I have never felt so lonely as having someone like him in my life. There has been so much pain and anger and it has been a struggle to rebuild my self esteem especially when he looks for ways to tear it down.
I keep asking myself why didn’t he just stick with his male “friends” and leave me alone? Why does he choose to hate and hurt women instead of just being the real him?
Sorry for ranting on your post. I’m very sorry you’re going through this as well. I will be sending good vibes your way! Stay strong, you’re not alone and you got this!