I too was married for 20 years... This very difficult... But remember you are the most important thing... Unless he's willing to get professional help, things may not change You need to take care of yourself as hard as it is... If there's children involved it adds difficulty to the situation... But remember you are the most important and you need to take care of yourself

Same. Why am I so afraid of change that I make every excuse to stay but all I want to do is leave, or him to leave, or just even live in different houses

Hi there, I feel the same way. I struggle with that as well and I am not sure why. I can afford to look after myself and the kids without any help from him, but somehow its still difficult for me.