I've had so many of the same feelings/experiences. Jerk has not left the country but seems to find money for whatever he WANTS to do-vacations, etc. Apparently paying child support isn't something he WANTS to do. I get so irritated that he'll take the kids and they all get to have fun, but I don't have money for all of "that". Then my oldest (11 and way too wise for his age) will say something that lets me know he gets it. He loves his father, but I am his security. He went to his dad's Christmas day. They left 12:30 back at 7:00. He called me 3 times just to tell me about this or that. He has a need to stay connected with me. He is thankful for the gifts I gave him, knowing I had to sacrifice to do it. I don't tell him these things, but he can figure it out. My kids don't know anything they don't need to know. They know we are watching our money as I'll tell them we can't afford this or that, but I also tell them we have enough for the things we need (which I wonder somedays) and they are involved in sports, etc. We don't eat out much, we plan for larger purchases, they take turns getting new shoes, etc. But they do have what they need. I've decided that in spite of it all, I really am the lucky ones. I have my kids, not just in physical custody, but I have their love and respect. I don't have to do cool stuff with/for them in order for them to want to be with me. That's something their father may never fully have.

Becky I feel the same way. I have to feed them and take from here to there and all dad is good for is going out to eat and playing games. My house is work and work and dad's is fun, but with all that my son prefers to be here. I love that fact. When dad calls my 7yr old actually asks "why are you calling" I love the fact that they decided to leave and think their lives are better now but their kids decide where they want to be, and apparently is not with them.

As we're sitting in the living room Christmas morning, just me and my boys-boys hadn't yet seen their dad- my oldest leans over and whispers, "This is the best Christmas I've ever had." Hmmm, first one without your dad around...

Hi i am very sorry to hear about your situation.Your ex is really one irresponsible and it's a shame he could afford to go abroad for Christmas and than left without money to even feed his son.
You are left alone but i am sure your kids will know to respect it when they get older.
It will pay off for your care and sacrifice.