It is so hard sometimes to remain civil, calm, etc. I am learning though. Jerk feeds on getting me upset. I now have my new favorite line-This is something I'm not going to discuss with you right now. This is something I'm not going to discuss with you right now. This is something I'm not going to discuss with you right now." On the third or fourth repetition he usually backs off.

I have tried both ways and the only way that works for me is being mean to him. I have tried being nice and he thinks he can walk all over me, and when he is with BF(big foot) OW(she is taller than him)he treats me all nasty and mean but as soon as big foot is out of sight the flea(STBX) is all nice. So I have decided to just be right out mean.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not nice, I just disarm him so to speak. But hey, if mean works I won't knock it.