I am not experiencing anger just sadness and confusion as to why this all happened. Anyway, I think the meditation class would be good. I actually found a class @ our local community college and it starts next month. I am thinking about taking it. I think it will help me. I have also starting taking a yoga class one night a week which I really enjoy. For that one hour I am focused on me,my breath and posture - he is not even a thought - which is great!! Definitely give it a try - what do you have to lose. If you don't like it you can stop but, who knows you may love it.

I wrote more here but somehow messed it up.
I am dealing with anger lately because of the financial mess he stuck me with.
Working with lawyer again on this & it makes me angry.
It's a stage of grief ............
The advantage to the anger is not wanting to ever go through this again!!!!!!!

What do I do?
I read the bible.
Exercise.
Cook.
Search online subjects I enjoy reading about.
Post here!
talk to family & friends..

Thanks everyone for your responses. Abbey, the technique you mentioned, about naming what you see, is one I was also taught for anxiety. Yes, it is for many things! I actually used it today. i was brushing snow off my car, stbx come in garage. He blows the snow off his vehicles. I had to take my car for service. I have no one to take me like he does so i can come back, I had to sit there 3 hours. I wanted to hollor at him thanks for nothing etc etc as I was having pain from brushing snow (I have issues with my hands). But I started naming I see snow on my car, i see trees that look nice etc and kept my BIG mouth shut and actually SMILED. Thank you for reminding me of that! But later I lost it. I stopped home after car and before going to work (kids off for snow) and he wanted me to move my car so he could clear driveway (he was not home when I got back, this was close to noon, how the he11 was I supposed to know he was coming to clear it???) So I got mad and said why can't he wait a few minutes until I go to work, he is not touching my car, he only takes it when he sneaks out at night and steals my keys so he can get high. I said I cared for 20 years, I wanted to know what he was doing for 20 years, now I don't care and I don't want to know I just want him to GO AWAY. Yup. How's that for holding my cool? Siiiiiiiggggghhhhhhhh....... Well, it's after 7:30pm and he's not here so HOPEFULLY he got the message and WON'T SHOW UP! I will look for the meditation classes if you found them helpful (ctwc), thanks for you input! JLVR, I agree exercise must help. I hear so much about it, keep MEANING to, but never do. sigh. What is your incentive? When during the day do you fit it in?? I try to get up early but I am so tired I won't. After work is busy with kids, then evening I am tired again! I feel so lazy, i really want to get going. like most things, I think taking that first step and STARTING is the hardest. I have never really exercised. I don't have weight issues, I guess that takes weight away as an incentive, but I do have circulation problems, a family history of heart disease, AND depression so i KNOW exercise will help tremendously, but i seem to somehow sabotage myself and put up huge blocks in front of me that keep me from doing what I know is right. Any advice?? Oh, as an aside, JVLR, I have also lost messages! Now, once I am done writing, I "copy" the message and if it gets lost I can just paste it again. Saves me a lot of frustration!

they sell the little steppers/bikes/ etc that are foldable, you can put these in front of you while you watch tv or on computer!
In fact I have cut back a bit/ been varrying my routine of types of exercise & since I cut back a bit on my aerobic (to 3 days a week) I have actually been more stressed.. I do need to stick with the variety right now but YES it helps!
it helps me breath more deeply & then mind shifts off the stuff that really does not matter.

Just do it girl! Once you take that first step with heading to the gym, it becomes almost addictive. Nice advice as I sit here eating an entire pan of brownies by myself :)

Chocolate is good for stress too.

LOL Maybe that's why I am divorced, I've heard people often crave sweets when they are single .. & I just love chocolate. really it's better for me than the ex. hee hee (God Works in mysterious ways..)

Brownies?! Oh, send some my way!! LOL!

They are gone. If I am going to eventually bare my naked body for another man, I really need to scrap that habit!

OK, with this one you might be categorizing me as a complete nut, if you haven't already. A few years ago I was taking a psych course for my master's program. A small portion of the class involved reading about Choice Theory. (If anyone is an expert here and I misspeak, please don't jump down my throat ) Anyway the jist is that you have a choice-you ALWAYS have a choice. I chewed on this one a long time. It wasn't my choice that Jerk didn't want to be with me. It wasn't my choice that Jerk was spending money faster than he could make it. It wasn't my choice Jerk was drinking, etc. But it WAS my choice how I chose to react to each of those situations. I could choose to be sad or I could choose to be happy. I could choose to be angry or I could choose to smile. I could choose to fight or I could choose to walk away, etc. This line of thinking has really helped me. I am choosing to be happy. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't always work, I'm not always happy and such, but it does give me control. I need to have control of my life, and this, at least in part, gives it to me. The more I practice this thinking, the better it works.

I really enjoyed your post. It actually made me think about the choices and decisions I have made. And yes sometimes it was to make him happy even though I was not happy. It also was not my choice to get divorced but, going forward I now realize I need to make choices about what is going to make me happy. It some how feels selfish but, I am really trying to focus on me! No one person can make me happy but myself. Again I really enjoyed your post and it has given me a lot to think about. Thanks!!