Agreed, take the money while it's offered. He owes so much more than what money could ever cover.

Feelings are mutual. I watched my niece be s*** on by her father for so many years. Her mother NEVER said a bad word about him-but she had it pretty well figured out. She is 26 now, married and has 3 children. He (or perhaps his wife) decided he should have a relationship with is grandchildren. They were invited over for Thanksgiving. In short, things didn't go very well, it was a repeat of her whole life, and yes she felt bad. Each time she goes in a little more guarded. She knows who he is, what he is. She has told me, though, that she can always say that she was willing to try to have a relationship. She will never feel guilty about what has-or hasn't- been in their relationship. For her it is important to relieve herself of all blame, and by accepting even small offers she feels she is doing this. Don't know if this made any sense, but I guess I'm saying I think your daughter will find her own coping strategies. Be there for her when she needs you. Yes, let her take the money!