I UNDERSTAND YOUR SITUATION. THAT'S A TUFF ONE.
GET ALL YOUR PAPERS TOGETHER, RECEIPTS TOO. PUT THEM SOMEWHERE SAFE, MAYBE OUT OF THE HOUSE OR MAKE COPIES.
GET A LAWYER. CHECK THEM OUT FIRST. DON'T CALL JUST GO.
I certainly can relate to your post in regards to you stbx and how you have ben treated. Jerk was concerned about 1 thing-whatever was best for HIM. He worked a lot, always under the disguise of doing what he needed to do for his family. Really? So leaving was what you needed to do? If it was, then refusing to pay child support was what your family needed? He can make excuses for anything and everything he does. It is all my fault. We both worked-him all the time. I have a decent job, but not real high paying. With child support the kids and I will be OK. I took care of all housework, grocery shopping. He didn't eat with us so I cooked and sat down with the kids. He did his own laundry. Sometimes he would "help" by washing and drying other loads of laundry, then he'd throw them on the chair I liked to sit on, so whether I wanted to or not I would have to fold and put that load of laundry away. Yeah, that was helpful. In terms of what you are entitled to, as I understand it what was spent out of joint funds should be game for being split. Thus, I would think he would have to pay you for a percentage of the worth of the home. That said, get an attorney so you know for sure and have someone looking out for you and what is rightfully and fairly yours. Let us know what you find out. Good luck.
I really can't relate in my case it was different, he did everything he wanted and I was had no right to question anything. I was the only stuck in the home while he went out and had his fun. When I finally got tired of it, I told him to leave. Now he keeps telling our 18yr old if your mother would just have kept her mouth shut I would still be there. Him with a girlfriend and me on anti-depressives.
I guess my point is, is the money really worth all your troubles. I know we all need money. I was a stay at home mom, while we were together, I am still at home. He is still paying my bills and giving me the same amount of money. Until when I don't know. I know one day, soon I will have to start to work and pull my way.
Take care and look into what you need to do to protect yourself and your daughter, I hope everything turns out well for you.
You will not really know all of your answers until you contact an attorney in your area. Many states will look at what you have acquired together since the marriage. The financial investment that you made into the home to improve it and all other monies need to be remembered. A suggestion is to get a notebook, write down every step of the process that you as a couple did to refurbish the home and where the money came from. This will help with remembering. All receipts that you have will also help. It was his family home before the marriage but has been used and shared in the marriage. You will need to look into your state laws but this probably will remain his. The investing is what you will want to look at for yourself.
Your daughter needs an opportunity to express her fears and concerns but as a new to be single mom, at 15 she can learn to help you with the daily chores. This will help you and also help with her maturity.