This is instrumental for people who have no valid reason to divorce I think. Maybe for those who just arent seeing eye-to-eye or having a communication breakdown. I dont think this works for people like myself who have a (ex)husband who is a habitual liar and constantly says he will change and grow and then never does. Its not for the wife that has give 110% only to get spat on (metaphorically speaking). If the husband/wife just does NOT want it to work, then you can try all you want...as I did...and the only response from him was "I have to get it when I get it....I have to want it for myself....I'll grow when I need to".... I have been used for everything from money to sex to knowledge. I have shed blood, sweat, tears, and more tears. The greatest part about it is that I have only been married for 3 YEARS (in Feb). I am exhausted from "fighting for my marriage" all alone, while he does what he wants to do.....apologizes, and then a week or two or three later we are RIGHT BACK to where we were the weeks prior with NO significant change or concern about my feelings or well being. I was NEVER priority and competed with everything and everyone. SO....I say all this to say (sorry for the wordiness) that it really DOES have to be acquiesced between BOTH parties.