Love doesnt make sense. You took care of him so long. It will be hard to relinquish that responsibility spiritually. He will have to grow without his crutch. If he refuses he chooses suffering. He may be accustomed to it. Numb to it. You are not. You are on a different vibration. Thats why you had to leave. Its incredibly sad. I feel this pain. We cant save everyone at our own expense. You can be an example for your children.
If hes like my husband. It may seem he is so alone. He will align eventually with someone who can reflect on his level of healing.
It may help to try some visualization where you see a hot air balloon (represents your life...whose in the basket with you?) tethered by 4 ropes. The four ropes represent your (toxic?) and also perfectly normal human attatchment to this person who hurt you. For me the ropes were 1. Codependency stemming from a need for approval 2. A sense of "i have to do this for the family" sacrifice. Low self worth. 3. A need to control ..."im the only one who can save him/ love him etc."4. Fear of walking alone. Autonomy. For myself and others.
Cut the ropes ...each one in your mind...see your balloon take flight. Imagine him protected yet its not your responsibility anymore. Send him love. Forgiveness. But most of all send it to yourself.
Best wishes for healing